Conversations

If you don't have a child on the autism spectrum, watch the TV show Parenthood to understand the difficulty of conversing with one.  Here's a clip where Kristina and Adam are trying to tell Max that he has Asperger's Syndrome {and no, we have not had any of those talks in our house yet}.  At the end of a conversation that's very intense for the parents, Max just says, "Ok, can I go play Bug Wars now?" and his main concern is negotiating the amount of time he's allowed to play the video game.  Kids on the spectrum are often focused on things instead of people. 

I have lived moments like the one in the clip.  They leave you feeling helpless, hopeless and drained.  You pour all your emotion into a conversation and just when you hope you might be getting through, your son says, "OK, but Mom, when can download that new game on the iPod?"

But today was a good day.  Ehren had great conversations today.  Seriously.  Today I felt like a regular mother of a seven-year old. 

While wandering around taking pictures at VBS this morning, I stopped by Ehren's crew.  He was laughing and interacting with another girl in completely typical fashion.

Later, at Walmart, Christian wandered off, distracted by the kiddie games and rides at the front of the store.  Ehren ran over to him and got him moving to keep up with us.

At home in the evening, Ehren worked hard on his eye exercises (he's doing vision therapy this summer).  While working on his eye exercises, he told me all about a beaver he had seen at golf lessons.  He said most of the kids thought it was a muskrat, but he knew it was a beaver because of its flat tail.  He told me that he turned out to be right (he was pretty proud of himself).  After this exciting story, I changed the subject and asked him about his VBS crew and if he was friends with the girl I saw him talking to today.  He said, "Yeah, she's nice, but I like the boys better."  We chatted about the kids, his crew leaders and about school next year.  I thanked him for helping Christian keep moving at Walmart and told him he might need to help Christian in school a little next year too.  But he surprised me by saying, "Yeah, but Mom, our teacher for next year is really good."  I felt like he was reading my mind.  I don't know the teacher he will have next year very well, but he knows her from recess and other activities they did with the second graders last year.  It felt good to have him reassure me, even if he is only seven.  It was a really wonderful mother-son conversation.